Six Tips for Single Men to Rise to the Cream of the Crop

While this club doens’t allow single males, almost all others do. So listen up, and we will show you how to be the very best single male in the lifestyle.

It may seem like there is a lot of competition amongst single men in the lifestyle. After all, swinger clubs and dating sites are full of single men.

Want to know how to separate yourself from the pack? Here’s your cheat sheet to being an irresistible partner.

Grow up and show up

If a couple schedules 20 dates with single men, at least 15 won’t show up. They always have an excuse (usually work, kids, etc.), but everyone knows they just lost their nerve.

It is devastating to a woman to flirt with a stranger online, set a date, get all dolled up and excited, and then get ditched.

Asking for a raincheck a day in advance doesn’t cut it. Married couples have minimal free time; it may be months before they can try this again.

If you can’t show up, don’t make dates. It’s that simple.

Dress like a man

Think about how little boys dress. They wear baseball caps, t-shirts, jeans (or shorts), and tennis shoes. A woman wanting a hot wife date or MMF is looking for a man, not someone who dresses like her six-year-old.

Respect your date. While everyone’s style is different, button-down shirts and dress shoes will separate you from most swinger single men (and most men in general!).

Be ready to perform

Earlier, I said that 15 out of 20 single men don’t show up for dates. Well, most of those who do show up are not able to achieve or maintain an erection.

The same nervousness that causes men to “raincheck” the date is what drives their cock to wilt in the moment of truth. Being involved in a couple’s fantasy is not the same sex you’re used to having. Trust me, everyone is a little nervous.

You’ll want to have a little extra “gas in the tank,” which is why most men in the lifestyle use prescription ED medication. Get safe meds from the comfort of your home through

Use coupon code SINGLEMALE to get $30 off your first order. This will let them know that YCP sent you. 

Almost no one cares about your dick

Single men love to talk about their cock. They love to take pictures of their cock. They love to show women their cock.

Here’s the problem, though: even if you have the perfect cock, it’s a turn-off for you to focus on it. You’re actively grossing just about everybody out.

Post an attractive face picture, a photo of yourself doing something fun, and one in a suit. Please do not show or talk about your dick.

If you want to discuss your dick, you can briefly mention your use of ED medication. That speaks directly to any lifestyle woman’s heart, as she’s probably used to playing “grief counselor” to some stranger whose dick dies in her hands.

Stop leering in swinger clubs

I learned this advice from reading a book about picking up women called The Game, by Neil Strauss. True pickup artists agree that when you see a beautiful woman, you have just a couple of seconds to decide whether you will approach her or not. It has to be an instantaneous decision: approach her right then or not at all.

The reason is simple: leering is creepy. Yet that’s the #1 problem every couple has with single men in clubs. They are afraid to approach, but they are always just “there.”

We look over, and he’s standing there smiling at us, hoping we will ask him to come over.
We dance, and he’s made his way to the dance floor. We go to a playroom, and there he is, watching from a distance. He’s always there, just waiting for the wave-over. It’s both annoying and creepy. If he’d approach, we could tell him we aren’t interested, but he never comes. He sits there and hopes that a hot woman will wave him over.

Single men, here is how to play this.

If you see a couple you’re interested in, approach and say, “Hi. I can only stay a second, but I want to let you know that I think you (looking at the woman) are very beautiful. I don’t know if you two are looking for a single male tonight or not, but if you are, please find me later. I won’t bother you again, but I’m around. Enjoy your night!”

Here’s why this works. When you approach and say, “I can only stay a second,” you’ve immediately disarmed us. We’re afraid that when a single male comes to a table, he will never leave. We’ll be much more open to listening to you if you immediately reassure us that you aren’t there to monopolize our time. Then express interest and leave the ball in our court. You’ve made your point, and you can move on with your night.

Get competent STD testing

Most STD testing is inadequate. For example, almost everyone has unprotected oral sex, but few doctors conduct throat swab exams to test people for the most likely infections.

Go here and take this quiz. Depending on your sexual activity, it will customize a year’s worth of STD monitoring for your specific needs. You can then buy that testing and take it in the comfort of your own home. Usually it’s between two and six tests per year. Add that to your dating profile and watch your messages explode!

Remember, people aren’t STD tested in the lifestyle because they think they have an STD. They get tested to demonstrate that they don’t have one. It’s action that says you care about your partners.

Fix your profile

Most single men’s profiles have dick pics, a torso shot, and text mentioning their cock size. That’s not only ineffective, but gross. Here’s another way to imagine a single male’s dating profile.

Thank you for viewing my profile. I’m a 40-year-old professional living in Boston. I love bourbon, travel, fitness, and beautiful women.

If I were in your shoes, I’d be looking for an attractive, responsible, and safe third for an evening of fun. I’d like to believe I am that person.

Attractiveness is subjective, but I’m happy to share additional photographs beyond what I’ve included here.

I know that your time is important, as is mine. If I agree on a date, I will be there unless you change your mind.

I’m also reliable in the bedroom. Like many men in the lifestyle, I use ED medication as extra insurance.

Safety is critical for all of us. I’m using Shameless Care’s testing package #9, which means I’m tested:
• 4 x year oral gonorrhea and chlamydia testing
• 4 x year genital gonorrhea and chlamydia testing
• 4 x year syphilis testing
• 1 x year HIV testing
• 1 x year Hepatitis B and C testing
• 1 x year HSV testing

I’m not that active in the lifestyle, but I never want to be why someone gets an STD. Many people say they are “clean” but aren’t tested that often (if at all). I test often and will share my results with you if you like.

I can’t wait to talk with you. Feel free to message me here, and I’ll reply pretty quickly.

As you can see, while many single males are in the swinger lifestyle, separating yourself from the pack is not hard.

Just be reliable, dress like an adult, be ready to perform, don’t be a creep, have quality recent STD test results, and stop talking about your cock. If you think that’s a joke, feel free to browse the single male section of any swinger lifestyle dating site! You’ll see how rare someone with those qualities are.

Show up like a grown up to enjoy a safe, fun swinger lifestyle. That’s what we want for you.