This post has nothing to do with hosting YCP. This is about our experience in the lifestyle, in general. We do get out occasionally! This weekend, for example, we’re going to the Champagne Club in Fort Wayne, Indiana!
On “swinger twitter,” I’ve noticed a bizarre thing. Many swingers across the nation are way more into alcohol than sex.
The photographs most tweeted are pictures of themselves drinking. They tweet photos of their “shower beer” or their “pre-game” drinks at a restaurant. Their tales of the night before almost always revolve around how fucked up they got, not on how sexy of a time they had. Often people are bragging about hangovers, or showing off the bar they set up in their hotel room.
It’s true, people can’t post photographs of sex, and it can be impolite to kiss and tell. But the longer I’m in the lifestyle, the more I think a lot of people are alcoholics who have found a tribe of people for whom that’s acceptable. Let’s face it, downing a fifth of whiskey on the golf course on a Saturday afternoon is going to raise some eyebrows, but at a swinger hotel takeover, no one would even notice.
I’ve never had an issue with alcohol. I never crave it at home. I never have a stressful day and think, “I can’t wait to have a drink tonight.” I only drink at lifestyle events. All that said, it can be quite fun to get tipsy and be silly with your friends, and I’m guilty of occasionally letting that be the point of my evening as opposed to sex.
For the last couple of months, I’ve been working to change that.
I’ve always measured my alcohol, but lately, I’ve been bringing less and less. I took four ounces of vodka to the last lifestyle event I attended. While that may be a lot for some people, it’s not for me. To put that into perspective, that’s between two and three drinks. I told myself before we left that I’d go to the restroom, away from the party, to stop and “check-in” with myself. When I did that, I noticed that away from the music and noise, that I felt good with 2 1/2 drinks. I was also comfortable dancing and flirting. It was perfect. Yet, I still wanted another drink, but since I didn’t bring anymore, I had to stick with the amount I’d already consumed, which worked out perfectly.
There are several reasons why I want to drink less and less at parties.
#1. I’m much more sexually aggressive sober. Buzzed, I want to act goofy with the boys.
#2. My orgasm comes much quicker. With a condom, I can hardly feel anything if I’ve had more than about four drinks.
#3. I’m a grown man. I don’t need to be acting like a teenage boy around women. That’s not only a “bad look,” that’s not even my real personality.
#4. I don’t want to be that 50-year-old with a potbelly bragging about how many beers I drank at the party, or promoting my event by discussing how many jello shots I’ll have there. Alcohol is a great drug, and frankly, it helps in many ways with the swinger lifestyle. However, when it becomes the focal point of your night, we all need to reconsider what’s happening.