We should be sitting down and having lengthy conversations about safe sex, our wishes, desires, and concerns before anyone goes to a playroom. In the real world, however, when drinks are flowing and sexual desires are outpacing our critical thinking, we can sometimes take shortcuts.

If two experienced, full-swap couples connect on the dancefloor and someone suggests, “should we find a room?” What is most likely to happen? In other words, what is “default” swinging?


The partners are swapped throughout the entire performance. Husband A is with Wife B, etc. Partners rarely swap back unless there are performance issues…like if the man needs help obtaining an erection or orgasming.

Order of events

Making out


Oral sex…male to female and then female to male

Penetrative penis/vaginal sex

Safe Sex

Condoms are used for penis/vaginal sex. Condoms or dental dams are not used for oral.


Inevitably, one man will cum before the other. This leads to lying with a person you barely know and who you just had sex with. Moments turn to minutes while both of you lay there being rocked back and forth by your partners’ sex motions. It’s like sitting on a trampoline that two other people are still jumping on.

In that situation, some light cuddling typically occurs. If for no other reason than you have nothing else to do, and it seems too awkward to get up and stand in the corner of the room.

Side note: This awkwardness does not compare to having a condom full of semen, dangling from a flaccid penis. That never looks good.


I write these to start a conversation, and to build traffic between our social media (Twitter/Facebook) and our website, furthering those connections in Google’s mind. When someone blogs, they have to give their opinion. I know some of you have rules like “no kissing.” I’ve met people who do not care for oral sex, or who only have anal sex. Everyone is different, and this is not disparaging them. This is simply my opinion about what is most common, not what is “right or wrong.”

What do you think? What is default swining?