We have 80,000 followers on Twitter. I’d guess around 78,000 of them are fake or single men from other nations who will never actually attend our events. The number of real people on twitter who I communicate with are very few. I pissed many of my real followers off today.
I wrote “Nothing has as short of ‘zero to expert’ time frame as swinging. Many couples do this for 24 months or less, start a podcast and begin giving advice. Would someone play golf for one year and begin giving lessons? Human sexuality is infinitely more complicated.”
I admit this was intentionally inflammatory, which is normally not my style. But it’s out there now.
My point was that many people confuse excitement with expertise.
If swinging were a sport, it would be obvious who was qualified to give “lessons” and who isn’t. The woman who dedicated her entire life to acquiring skills and played on the LPGA tour would be qualified, someone else who has been doing it for mere months would not be. One swing of the club and you’d know if someone was a beginner. It’s not that easy in the lifestyle.
Unfortunately, nowadays all you need to do is start a website or a podcast and BOOM you’re in the lifestyle advice business. Some podcasters are even selling online courses on swinging.
We’ve been at this for well over a decade. Long enough I can’t even pinpoint the starting point. 11 years? 12 years? 13 years? Whatever. We’ve also been to clubs across the nation, Hedonism and host our own events. In 2019 we will hold 27 events in two states.
We are not experts on the lifestyle.
Why not? Because the lifestyle is human behavior. It’s human sexuality. It’s psychology. Those are actual sciences. You know, the sort of thing you could get a PhD in.
I love a sunny day as much as the next guy, it doesn’t make me a meteorologist. We cannot confuse enthusiasm with training and education.
Why does this matter? We all like to think of swinging as nothing but fun, but believe me, I receive emails from people for whom it didn’t turn out to be fun. People hurt their partners feelings, sometimes permanently. Some people fall in love and abandon their previous partner. Divorces. Children who used to have mom and dad seven days a week now have dad on the weekends only. Entire family trees permanently altered. These things do sometimes happen. The risks of something going wrong are very real and very severe. Therefore, I don’t feel comfortable dolling advice on a subject so complicated. I’m an enthusiast, I’m a hobbyist, I’m not an expert.
Please keep this in mind gang, we love you and we love swinging, but we are not experts. If you feel you need counseling, please seek the guidance of true experts who are knowledgable and positive about non-monogamy. Some of the best out there are Sexbecause who both have PhDs in human sexuality and offer online counseling. Not an affiliate of ours, just cool people. https://sexbecause.com