Take the compliment. 

Many of us aren’t used to getting the type of compliments we receive in the swinger lifestyle. So when complimented, most people try to divert the attention away from themselves subconsciously.

Deflecting compliments is a defense mechanism that has the exact opposite effect as intended. It doesn’t make the person seem modest; it makes them seem like an asshole. 

Let’s look at some examples:

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Compliment: “That dress is amazing. You look stunning!”

The person being complimented: “Thank you, it was only $2.00 at Goodwill. I never spend more than $30 on a piece of clothing!”

No doubt the person wanted to appear modest (I didn’t spend much!), but just told the complimenter that she likes cheap clothing. 

And what if the person who gave the compliment is wearing a $200 dress? Or only wears designer clothes? Now you’ve inadvertently insulted their value system. 

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Compliment: “Bro, you’re looking really fit. I can tell you’ve been killing it in the gym!”

The person being complimented: “I’m just trying to be like you, bro.”

No one believes a compliment you came up with on the spot. You might as well of say, “I’m rubber, and you’re glue…”  

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Compliment: “your eyes are beautiful!”

The person being complimented: “Oh, wow, thank you! Your eyes are beautiful as well!” 

It’s the same as the above example. Complimenting someone as a reflex isn’t sincere, and everyone knows it. It makes the compliment giver feel terrible. 

Even if you come up with some other random compliment like “thank you, so does your dick!” You said that because you felt compelled to compliment them back. It’s not sincere and won’t be taken as such. 

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Compliment: “You’re an amazing dancer!” 

The person being complimented: “No…I know that’s not true. But thank you. That’s very sweet.” 

So someone compliments you, and you call them a liar. I’ve had women tell me that I’m lying when I compliment them. I wasn’t lying, and it’s degrading to both of us to say that. 

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Imagine me. People often compliment me about YCP.

Compliment: “You do such a great job with this. YCP is the best party we’ve ever been to.”

Now what if I said, “oh thank you, your parties are great too!” 

Or, “Thank you, and OMG, your eyes are so beautiful!” 

Or “Thank you. You’re lying. YCP sucks. But Thank you for saying that.”

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The best way to accept a compliment is to say, “Thank you.” It takes a lot of courage to compliment someone, and you can make the person feel worse about themselves by just not accepting it. 

No matter how embarrassed you may feel, the best response is, “thank you!” 

You’ll soon learn to believe the compliments because they are true. If someone took the time to walk up and compliment you, what they said is 100% true. 

Compliments are like dicks. Both the giver and the recipient enjoy it more when taken as readily as given.