Good sex is mostly about match ups, chemistry and modifying what you’re doing based upon feedback.
There is definitely no “best” technique because women are so dramatically different from one another.
One woman’s dream sex partner, is another woman’s worst nightmare. Some clitoral hoods are so sensitive that they cannot be touched directly at all. Even the slightest touch, with a tongue, is too much, whereas others need about as much pressure and grinding as possible.
To show you how varied women are, we asked the ladies of our Facebook group these three questions.
Question #1. Can you orgasm during a swap?
Question #2. Do you expect to orgasm during a swap? Is it common for you?
Question #3. What should your partner know that helps trip your orgasm trigger?
Here are their answers….
Note, these were typed onto Facebook and copied/pasted here. They are typed very casually and not proofread.
2. Yes. I always have. Honestly I don’t know how I would react if I didn’t.
3. I’m hyper orgasmic – I don’t require very much. But biting and dirty talk is always a good call anyway. Because orgasms are standard, the other sensations are what makes the experiences different and special.
2. Yes, however it’s more likely in a more private setting versus having 20 people watching/lurking.
3. Dominance from my partner will do it for me
2. And yes I expect it but it rarely ever happens because the guy always seems to have an issue and I take a while.
3. Foreplay, and not like 3 minutes of it and then we are sticking it in.
2. Don’t expect it but it usually happens.
3. Build up is good. Kissing, touching, nipple play- tease me so I really want it. I enjoy spanking (especially during doggy style), and when the mood strikes, a neck grab or hair tug (I like some dominance). To finish, doggy style while using my vibrator gets me to orgasm the most.
2. Absolutely to both
3. Oral that’s pretty much it for me. Also learn about the clitoris. I cannot come without clitoral stimulation and most women can’t. Also the g spot isn’t really a thing so quit trying to find it. You’re just pushing yourself into my cervix so stop and of course, have some RHYTHM!
1. Not so far. But I’d like to!
2. No I don’t expect to. It’s still fun without.
3. Lots of foreplay, nipple stimulation, and ditto to the clitoral stimulation.
2. I don’t expect it and since we are so new to the LS it hasn’t happened every time but I’m hopeful it will increase with experience and I still have an awesome time usually!
3. Definitely nipple play and time commitment to a penetration/clit stimulation combination. If I’m indicating I like what you’re doing don’t completely change it on me or else you have to start over. Also Involvement/help from the female part of the couple helps so much so props to lady on lady play.
2. At this point in swapping- I’m just hopeful my partner can get an erection. If he can, then yes, I can orgasm depending on the situation. I generally do not have any issues having orgasms (sometimes multiple)…. Is it EXPECTED? Not really but it sure makes a good time a little better!
3. A sure way for me to orgasm is to let me get on top and ride like there’s no tomorrow. I also like a little dominance, talk dirty to me, let me use a vibrator, etc.
2.No, never expected. Sometimes the journey is just as much fun as the end game. If I don’t, I just get myself off later. No big deal.
3.Clitoral stimulation. Big time. But sometimes there are factors where I can’t. Over stimulated, distracted, things of that nature.
2. Of course it’s fine if I don’t but it’s pretty easy to get me off, and if someone gets to come then that’s a success lol.
3. Vaginal penetration is my preferred, but oral from particularly gifted people works now too.
1. I haven’t yet (I seem to be an outlier here)
2. I don’t expect to as it’s hard for me to. I enjoy the experience regardless and if the guy is trying too hard to get me to orgasm I feel pressured and it pretty much ensures it won’t happen..
3. Lots of clitoral stimulation, no pressure, and touching my inner thigh.
2. Not required, but a good bonus. And honestly sometimes I know it’s just not going to happen. And sometimes I know it’s going to be easy. I enjoy the journey.
3. Oral and fingers…vibrator during doggy style, hair pulling, spanking….multiple tongues/hands. And…if I cant cum with another spouse, I can always cum with my spouse.
1. I haven’t yet.
2. I don’t expect it at all. If I do amazing, but it’s not a for sure for me. It takes a lot for me to orgasm.
3. Clitoral stimulation and penetration is key for me! I’m gonna start bringing vibrators to party as that’s what gets me off mostly. Teasing also helps! Make me crave all of you.
2. Not expected but always a plus!! My husband says it is easy for me to orgasm, I feel I have to be in the right sexy mindset
3. I love to be kissed, like let me know you want it. And absolutely Love dirty talk.
1. Highly unlikely
2. Absolutely not.
3. It takes a strong vibration and even that sometimes doesn’t get the job done. Best advice, just enjoy the ride and please don’t keep asking me if I came it’s very much a mood ruiner!
2. Yes, and it does happen more often than not
3. Oral almost always, sometimes anal if the stars are aligned (ask first, lol), penetrative sex is generally a good bet if there is chemistry and I like to be on top to finish.
1.Still pretty new to the LS, so not yet
2. I don’t expect it to happen. It takes quite a bit of work and patience for me. I can hope though, right?!
3. Clitoral stimulation (vibrator) is usually the best bet. Pairing that with fingers can increase it, but I am really easily over stimulated. Some hair pulling or neck kissing can help too. I don’t need to cum to have a good time and enjoy myself, though.
1. Well I just recently popped my swapping cherry. I didn’t cum that time, but I was literally about 10 strokes away. Although I’m usually very orgasmic, it was my first so I was nervous.
2. Every time after that experience I’ve cum (same partner) and I don’t necessarily expect it, but it’s a wonderful bonus!
3. What helps? Technique may have something to do with it, but I am more orgasmic the more aroused I am. Foreplay is a MUST and not only 10 seconds of it. I love a great buildup from flirting, teasing, laughter and KISSING. Haha. Also personality matters. Oral works with my babe, but I haven’t had much oral experience with other men to determine if it works for me. During the actual sex I love to be vocal and expect the guy to also be because that helps with arousal and adds to the experience.
It’s all about the overall experience for me.
2.Its not expected but it’s always a plus!
3. Girl on top will get me there every time!
2. No, I don’t expect to but it’s awesome when it happens.
3. It’s hard to answer this one…I don’t have a specific trigger to get me there. There are a lot of factors into getting there. Depends on how I’m feeling that day and what’s happening around me.
1. Not usually, but it can happen
2. I’d love to have one, but I don’t want someone to feel bad about not getting me off
3. Clit stimulation is a must. I also need someone to be passionate and show how much they are enjoying it. Also a little force is nice. But don’t try and dominant just be a little aggressive. Also, Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! I love the build up!
2. Don’t expect it to happen in every situation, but want it to!
3. Love compliments, hate radio silence.
2. No I don’t expect it. More often than not it doesn’t happen, but I still have fun anyway.
3. G-spot and anal work for me! I also like using a vibrator along with penetration
1. I can! Just have to be comfortable in the swap.
2. I’m difficult to get off day to day, so I absolutely do not go into a swap expecting to orgasm. Plus I find that if I expect it (or anything for that matter), I tend to think about it too much and that puts too much pressure on myself and the partner I’m with. Best to just relax, enjoy, and be pleasantly surprised when/if it happens.
3. Take your time! Please! Be comfortable with using toys on me. That, fingers, and neck kisses combined are absolutely fantastic
1. Yes. Each time I swapped. Which has actually only been twice. So not much to go on.
2. It’s actually been easy for me with my partner and the person I am with.
3. But it starts before actually swapping. I’m weird that way I guess. Dancing prior really gets me ready to fire. I do NOT know why. If a guy or girl starts dancing with me before we have sex..i will orgasm. So dance with me on the dance floor and then take me to bed. :)I have always been that way. A weird quirk I suppose. But I have always been very shy..but I am not shy when I dance and it helps me. Also pulling hair, being a bit rough and there is a spot on my ear that if nibbled will guarantee I orgasm. Now you all know.
2. Depends on the situations ..not all play is meant for orgasms… it is common for me to orgasm multiple times when I’m being pleasured or playing .. our play preferences are usually marathons not sprints and often test many orgasm boundaries.
3. If I’m turned on and relax around the people I’m playing with Its easier for me to have an orgasm.. clit stimulation and vibrators always add to the amount of orgasms;)
1. I can orgasm during a swap. It can be difficult though.
2. I do not expect it.
3. He knows to tell a man the things I like to get me to orgasm or to whisper the things he knows I want to hear
1. I have a few times.
2. Although I love every situation and I am enjoying myself I feel it’s rare for me to orgasm with someone else. it’s just a lot of stimuli in the room. I can come easily at home with my own partner so I know I’m not broken lol
3. Well I generally can only orgasm on bottom unless I use toys with others. However, I have come on top but that’s rare. I feel it’s all positional for me. I can only orgasm orally if I am fingered but generally takes a bit to get me there. The thing is I’m a giver so my biggest pleasure is getting someone else off and enjoying myself with my partner or alone to the thought of that. I also enjoy a great kisser and the right amount of dominance.