Before we entered the lifestyle, I thought I understood attraction. In college when my buddies and I would talk about women, we all seemingly agreed about who was hot. Of course, we were young and probably easier impressed by women than we are now, but that’s another story.

Now that I’m in the lifestyle, and hosting an event, I’m more and more fascinated by who is attracted to who. I’m even more fascinated by who isn’t attracted to who.

I think most swingers have experienced this. Couple A is hooking up with both Couple B and Couple C, and find out that Couples B and C are not even remotely attracted to each other. It’s puzzling.

Who is attracted to who doesn’t matter at all when it comes to YCP events because they are massive (140 people) and everyone is bound to find several couples who find them attractive. However, it does matter when you’re trying to plan small, informal get-togethers.

If you’re having a house party with just a few couples, you don’t want to invite someone who may get left out of the action despite their attempts to join in. So you have to ask…”what do you think about so and so?” If the reply is something like “they are nice but I’m not attracted to him (or her),” then you really have to rethink the invite.

The fascinating thing is that this is impossible to predict. Just because you find a couple attractive is no guarantee that your playmates will, and vice versa.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever been surprised at who your friends find attractive? At who they find unattractive?

Have you ever been “turned off” by finding out that your friends had sex with a couple that you find unappealing? I know, I know, no one SHOULD be turned off by this, but it happens.