Typically, people tell me “we love YCP events because they aren’t as ‘cliquey’ as other events we’ve been to.”
Occasionally, however, someone will say the event was “cliquey.” You see, if an event is “cliquey” or not, is all perception, there is no right or wrong answer.
I do want to point out that YCP events have been designed from top to bottom to avoid cliques. Here’s how…
Speed dating has been copied recently. Since we’ve started doing it, two other chicagoland clubs have begun speed dating. One has already stopped doing it, and the other just started a couple of months ago.
However, YCP was designed around speed dating. It’s the bedrock upon which the party sets. It’s baked into the cake. Speed dating is as much of a part of YCP as the age limit.
Our event starts at 8 pm, and by 9 pm around 90% of our attendees are in the building. Then at 9:15 we begin speed dating, and EVERYONE participates in it. It’s not optional. If you attend YCP, then you speed date.
So even the biggest introvert is going to meet at least 10 couples during speed dating.
Huge number of new couples
Each YCP event has around 70 couples and single females. Of those 70 couples and single females in the building, usually 15 to 20 are new. The last event had 19 new couples and 3 new single females. So 22 couples out of the 70 were brand new, or 32%.
1/3 of the attendees certainly weren’t in a “clique,” as they didn’t even know a single person there!
We don’t want people to sit
Nothing kills a party faster than plentiful seating.
We have 140 people in the building and only 15 stools and a love seat. So we can sit about 13% of our attendees at any given time.
When we rent the club in Iowa, the first thing we do is carry 90% of the tables and chairs outside. We don’t want people sitting, we want them standing and walking the entire party.
It’s also the same reason, by the way, that we don’t rent “VIP tables.” The revenue is simply not worth having people camped at their special table all night.
In the words of Bruno Mars, “If you ain’t here to party, take your ass back home.” You didn’t come to sit, you came to meet people. That’s why YCP events limit seating.
Advice for if it’s feeling “cliquey?”
My wife and I can attend any event and not feel like it’s cliquey. We’re pretty outgoing, we feel good about our appearance (we assume people want us to approach) and we’re experienced enough to know that people go to swinger clubs to meet people.
If you’re feeling like the event is cliquey ask yourself these questions.
- Am I smiling? I know, our PC culture says we shouldn’t tell people to smile. But the truth is, if you have resting bitch face, and you aren’t countering it with a smile, people aren’t going to approach you. They assume you want to be left alone.
- Are you approaching? We NEVER stand and wait for people to approach us. We go to them.
- Don’t be afraid to butt into a conversation. People want you to join their circle, go introduce yourselves.
- Don’t be THAT into each other. We love long-term couples who simply cannot keep their hands off of each other. You know, those couples who have been married for ten years but still make out constantly. However, if your attention is always inward, as a couple, people might assume your’e doing your own thing and want to be left along. Make eye contact with other couples or single females, smile and you might be surprised who comes to join you in conversation.