Advice for Single Men at a Swinger Club

We do not allow single men at YCP, so this advice isn’t about YCP events. Instead it’s about the other events we go to where single men are present.

I actually learned this advice from reading a book about picking up women called, “The Game.”

In the book, true pickup artists agree that when you see a beautiful woman you have just a couple of seconds to decide if you’re going to approach or not. It has to be an instantaneous decision. Approach her, or never approach her.

The reason is simple…leering is creepy. Yet that’s the number one problem we have with single men at non-ycp clubs. They are afraid to approach, but they are always just “there.”

We look over, and he’s standing there smiling at us, hoping we will ask him to come over.

We go dance, and see he’s made his way to the dance floor.

We go to a playroom and there he is, watching from a distance.

He’s always there, just waiting for the wave over. It’s both annoying and creepy. If he’d approach we could tell him we aren’t interested, but he never approaches. Just sits there and hopes that hot woman will wave him over.

Single men…here is how I’d play it if I were you.

I see a couple that I’m interested in so I approach and say, “I can only stay a second, but I wanted to let you know that I think you (looking at the woman) are very beautiful. I don’t know if you two are looking for a single male tonight or not, but if so, please come find me later and we can continue this conversation. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you again, but please come find me later if you wish.”

The reason? When you approach and say, “I can only stay a second” you’ve immediately disarmed them. Everyone is afraid that when a single male approaches a table that he will never leave. They will be much more open to actually listening to you if you reassure them immediately that you aren’t there to monopolize their time. Then by expressing interested and placing the ball into their court, you’ve made your point and you can move on with you night.